When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor.Its descendants are now known as giraffes. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.The show Survivorhad the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes.Chuck Norris can get in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it.The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's pushing the Earth down.Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.There has never been a hurricane named Chuck because it would have destroyed everything.Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following to close.Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters.Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.Chuck Norris never retreats He just attacks in the opposite direction.Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris stands faster than anyone can run.Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time.Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling. Chuck Norris does not use spell check.Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”.Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life.If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage.The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard.Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That's no glitch.” Chuck Norris appeared in the 'Street Fighter II' video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick.If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, 'Two seconds till.' After you ask, 'Two seconds to what?' he roundhouse kicks you in the face.Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light.The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once.If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck said, “Say Please.”.then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win.He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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